The Story of Grant

I haven't posted here in a really long time, mostly because I'm not sure anyone even reads it. I'm writing this more for myself than anything. As time moves forward, details tend to get foggy, and I want to remember everything - the good, and the not so good. So, if you dare to venture further, this is gonna be a LONG story!

Summer of 2014 was coming to a close. I had a really nice, fun, busy summer with my husband and 3 kids. I had put on a few pounds, and was really looking forward to getting back to a schedule with the kids in school, and Keeland starting preschool. I seem to do better with everything (housework, work, diet, exercise) when I'm on a schedule, because it forces me to be organized. I like organization.

We spent the last Saturday of summer in Albany - doing some shopping and having lunch. I remember standing in line to pay at the Christmas Tree Shop, and I felt nauseated. In fact, I hadn't really felt that great all day - but it was then that I actually noticed it.

On the way home, I had my husband stop by the store so I could get a pregnancy test, "just to be safe." We got home, and my husband took our dog out for a walk, and the kids started playing. I decided to take the test. I cannot even begin to express the shock that I felt when I looked down and saw 2 lines staring up at me. I ran out of the house barefoot, and down the street a little ways looking for my husband. I started waving at him like a maniac, so he began to walk back towards me. When he got within earshot, I yelled, "It's positive! I'm pregnant!!" He smacked himself in the forehead. (Which I took as an "Oh no" reaction, but later found out it was a "you just told the entire neighborhood our business....whoops!).

We went in the house - my husband calm and cool, and me on the brink of tears and hysteria. I didn't want another baby! I was content with my 3 kids! We got rid of the crib and all the baby gear and clothes! What were we going to do? I asked my husband, and he replied, "We'll figure it out. We'll make it work." How he was so calm in that moment, I'll never understand - but I am so thankful. His strength made me feel a little better.

I called my Mom in tears to tell her, and she was happy! That made me feel a little better too. Then, that night, Vic was in horrible pain. I drove him to the hospital ER and he was admitted for kidney stones. Pretty eventful 24 hours!

After telling my "Boss" at work (who is more like a best friend than a boss), I felt like it was official. I was optimistic that I could finish out almost the entire preschool year, but just miss the last couple weeks. My due date was May 11th, 2015.

I had a pretty great pregnancy. The time seemed to fly by, and with each day I grew more and more excited to be welcoming a new baby into our family. We were thrilled to find out at Christmas time that we were having another boy!!!! We couldn't decide on a name, but I was pretty sure I wanted "Declan."

Fast forward to spring, and my blood pressure suddenly went up. They ran some tests, and assured me that all was well. But at my next appointment, it was up - even higher. Because of my history of preeclampsia (with my firstborn), they ran some other tests, and scheduled me for more frequent non-stress tests and ultrasounds. My husband and boss decided it was best if I leave work early to get rest - and then my Doctor insisted on it.

I remember that day so well. April 17th. I had an appointment (not Doctors) in a town about 40 minutes away, and Keeland didn't have preschool that day, so I brought him with me. Then, I took him to McDonalds to play and grab lunch. I didn't have an appetite at all - I had a non-stress test and ultrasound scheduled later that day and was just feeling a little "on edge." The kids had their pinewood derby race at Church that night too, so it was a full day. I suddenly remembered that I didn't have a little seat for the baby, so I ran to the store and bought one, took it and my son home, and then went to the Dr. appointment. Before I left I said, "I'm sure everything will be fine, and when I get home we'll head to Church." Little did I know!

When I got there, I just felt "off." That's the best way I can describe it. My cheeks were flushed, my blood pressure was really high, and I had no appetite. In fact, I hadn't really eaten at all in the last few days. I actually lost some weight, but I looked swollen. The sweet nurse midwife who did my non-stress test seemed concerned, so she asked the OB to come in and see me. She seemed concerned too, and decided to call my regular OB who was already across the street at the hospital. The Dr. came back in and said, "I talked to your Dr. and told her what was going on. She seems concerned, and wants you to head over to the hospital. We're not using this room after your appointment, so go ahead and take a minute, and if you need to call your husband, please feel free." The Dr. and nurse left the room, and my friend (who is a nurse at the OB's office) popped her head in to see how I was feeling. So sweet of her! (Thanks Kami!!). I called Victor, and the conversation went something like this -

Me: Hey Babe, my blood pressure is high, and I'm not feeling great, so they want me to go over to the hospital to get checked out.

Him: Oh man! Ok - are you ok? Should I call your Mom?

Me: No, don't bother my Mom. I'm sure everything is fine and I don't want to worry her.

At this point, the Dr and nurse both pop their heads back in the door, and they say, "Where is your Mom? Syracuse? She needs to get here NOW. Your Dr. says you have preeclampsia again and we're not fooling around - it's baby time."

I can hear my husband on the phone kind of freaking out, and all I can do is laugh and say, "Did you hear that?" And he said, "I'm calling Liz to come get the kids and then I'll be there!"

So, I drove myself across the street to the hospital and got checked in. My husband arrived (thankfully my sweet friend Liz took the kids to the pinewood derby so they didn't have to miss it!) and then they wheeled me into surgery. I won't go into great detail about the bumbling Dr. assistant who couldn't get my spinal in (literally took her 30 agonizing minutes before the head Dr. stepped in and got it on the first try). Before we knew it - we heard our son's first beautiful cries!

That's when things started to get strange. It took them a bit longer to bring him to us. And, they didn't let us see him as long. Before I knew it, they were taking him into the other room to get cleaned up, and my husband went with them. Obviously, I had to stay a little longer as they sewed me up and finished my surgery. I remember being very tired, and very relieved it was over. I remember wondering if his lungs were ok - after all, I was only 36 and a half weeks pregnant. The nurses wheeled me back to my room. I had to lay flat (typical after a c-section) and they worked all around me plugging in my IV's and such. I had this feeling someone was looking at me. I looked up to see my husband. He was looking at me so strangely - this look of sadness and love and comfort in his eyes. I asked him what was wrong. He was silent. I asked him - almost afraid of the answer.

"There is a lump at the base of his spine that they think is a tumor."

I started sobbing. All I could imagine was that my poor boy had cancer and that he would suffer, or die, or never be able to walk. And I hadn't even held him yet. When I was able to breathe again, I opened my eyes and saw another Dr. and nurse standing over me. It was the on-call pediatrician. He told me that he believed the mass was most likely benign, but that our baby was also having a hard time breathing and was being transferred to Albany Medical - a bigger hospital about an hour away. I begged to be transferred with him, but I was too sick to be discharged, and not sick enough to be transferred. I would have to wait there - without my baby. I was heartbroken. 

They finally brought my beautiful baby in to me - we named him Grant Thomas. They placed Grant on my chest, and I lifted my arms to touch him - but I wasn't really able to HOLD him. He looked perfect, and so much like his big brother!

Behind the scenes, I didn't know that my friend and "Boss" Darlene had given Victor a ride to the hospital so that we wouldn't have 2 vehicles there, and she was waiting in the waiting room. She was one of the first to know about our sons birth, and his tumor. My Parents arrived and were able to come in and see Grant and hold him. His blood sugar was low, so the nurse was trying to get him to eat a little from a syringe while my Mother held him.

The transfer team From Albnay Med. came in to see me and explained that if Grant stopped breathing, they had everything they needed in the ambulance to save his life. That did NOT make me feel better. They told us not to bother going to see him in the NICU that night because it would take a long time to get him admitted, so it would be a while before my husband would be able to see him.  My Dad had to leave to go back home, but my Mom stayed (they drove in separate cars - so glad they made that decision!) and went over to the Church with Victor to get the other kids from the pine car races. 

Victor told the kids what was going on - I'm sure they were worried and confused, but they were amazing through it all. 

When I was finally discharged Sunday afternoon, Vic drove me down to see Grant. It was heartbreaking to see him all hooked up to wires. I wasn't able to hold him. I remember I couldn't wait to get there to see him, but then I felt so helpless and scared when I was there, I wanted to leave. I was still pretty sore from my c-section, so we didn't stay long. My Mother met us in Saratoga and we took the kids out to dinner. They had been missing me, and had questions about what was going on. 

The next week was a blur - but the schedule was pretty much the same every day. Get the girls to school, Keeland to preschool, Vic to work (he was filling in for me at preschool), Vic home, Keeland home, Vic and Jen to Albany, Mom watches kids, Vic and Jen home with take out, kids in bed, adults in bed. Start all over again in the morning. 

Finally on day 8 in the NICU, Grant had surgery. They removed the tumor  (which they said was a sacrococcygeal teratoma) and his tailbone. They needed to remove the tailbone so that the tumor didn't grow back. After surgery, we were able to see Grant again. He was in pain, and he whimpered - it was awful to see him like that! The nurses took such great care of him, but I was scared and helpless. 

There were babies in the NICU who were much sicker than Grant was. My heart would break for them as I heard their alarms go off, or would see nurses scurrying around taking care of them. I would peek in their doors as we walked by - some were so tiny! I was thankful, but I was also scared and unsure - we had never been through anything like that before. 

Friends from Church were so supportive. I had calls from friends, and offers of help from so many people. My kids teachers at school reached out to us, and even an anonymous friend stopped by the a huge blessing of a gift to help us during that time. To all of you - even if you never see this or read this - thank you. You'll never know what your love and support meant to us!

A couple days after surgery, the Doctors and nurses started talking about the possibility of Grant coming home! I was so excited!!! I don't remember the exact date, but I remember it was a Thursday and Keeland had preschool. The Doctors were optimistic that Grant could come home that day! There was so much to do to get ready! The NICU had a policy that we had to have the car seat inspected and paperwork signed off on that it was installed correctly, so my Mom and I drove around looking for someone to do it! (Which by the way, AAA does it!). Then, the NICU wanted us to come up with a solution for something soft to go under Grant's bottom that would still be safe for him to ride home in, but comfortable on his incision. I was literally DANCING when I got to Church to pick up Keeland and Victor! I was SOOO happy!!!! We went home to drop off my Mom and Keeland, and we checked the messages.

"Hello this is blah blah blah from Albany Medical Center NICU - we've been trying to reach you, please call us."

So, Vic called. I watched as his shoulders slumped, and his demeanor changed...

"4 More days?!"

I screamed.

LITERALLY SCREAMED.

I sobbed.

In that moment, I was RAW. All that hope and excitement gone - with just 3 words. 4 More days. He had been fine before, but due to where his incision was on his butt, it was a difficult area to keep clean. The nurse who had been on that night wasn't as dutiful as the others (and that's all I'll say about that) and Grant had developed an infection. It would be Monday at the earliest that he could come home, as he needed 4 days of IV antibiotics. I logged onto Facebook to give my friends an update, and I could hardly type through my sobs. 

My Mom knows me oh so well, and at that point, offered to pack my other kids stuff up and take them to her house in Syracuse for the weekend. She knew I was just raw emotionally, and tired physically. They left.

PLEASE understand when I say that I know other people have gone through much MUCH worse, but this is just how I felt. I can look back now and see that everything would be fine, but then, I didn't know that and I was just so scared.

In Church that Sunday, I tried to keep my composure. But then we sang, "There is none like You, no one else can touch my heart like You do. I could search for all eternity long, and find, there is none like You. Your mercy flows like a river wide, healing comes from Your hand, 

Suffering children are safe in Your arms, 

there is none like You."

I was so upset I ran from the sanctuary crying. It just seemed so unfair that my perfect little baby boy had to go through all of that. He had done NOTHING wrong in his little life. Why him? I was angry. Not at God - but I was just mad. Mad at the circumstance. Mad. Dear friends came and tried to comfort me, but I'm afraid I wasn't very kind to them in that moment. They understood. 

I laugh at myself here, because when Monday rolled around, I was a woman on a mission. My kids had come home Sunday night and I was DETERMINED that Monday would be the day my baby came home. I called EARLY that morning and said, "The Doctor said Monday and it's Monday. I don't care what papers I have to sign, my baby is coming HOME with me today. Make it happen."

I must have sounded threatening or something, because when we got there - no joke - they had a ankle bracelet on Grant! I think they thought I was just going to grab him and run! I wouldn't have done that, but honestly - I was getting DESPERATE to have my baby home! (which in hindsight seems very impatient and wrong - family members of Victors had their sweet baby in a Canadian NICU for over 6 months!). 

Thankfully, it didn't come to that - he was ready to come home! We surprised the kids, and told them he wouldn't be home until the next day. It was so much fun coming home and surprising them!

Grant's tumor was benign, and they expect him to be just fine. Every 6 months he'll see his Surgeon, and once a year he'll see his Oncologist. They'll test his AFP levels (tumor markers) and if at any time they rise, they'll do more testing. He has seen them a handful of times and has already had his AFP levels tested twice, and they were in very good ranges. After he's 3 years old, we won't have to see the oncologist or surgeon again! 

Grant is now almost one year old. Only one year old and he's taught me so much. Patience, trust, faith, love - and that God's got this. Every time we sing, "There is none like You," I just smile. I'm so thankful for that short season in my life - even though at the time it was very hard.  Life is so fragile and it's a gift. I am thankful for every day I have with my children. There are days that are hard - but God is there. Holding us and loving us through it all. Grant was a surprise, and a HUGE blessing. I am so thankful that God knows - and that He's holding us though it all.

Keeland's Birth

I mentioned some of this in a previous blog post, but thought I'd go more in depth here. After having our 2 girls, my husband and I were content. We had 2 children, and thought that possibly, we'd have one more - LATER in the future. Another baby was not on our minds - we had a 4.5 year old, and an almost 2 year old. It was a Friday night when it hit me, I was late. As I mentioned before in a previous post, this is not uncommon for me, but I felt "strange." I decided to pick up a cheap test at the dollar store, "Just in case." I was home with the 2 girls, and Vic was at youth group, so I thought I'd take it. I was SHOCKED when it came back positive. SHOCKED. And, then scared. I had no idea how Vic would take the news. I tried waiting until he came home to tell him - but I just couldn't. I was shaking. So, the girls and I drove over to Church. Vic was surprised to see me, but that surprise grew to concern when I asked to speak to him privately. Once I got him alone, I rambled on about how I was late, blah blah blah, and then I showed him the test. He looked at me for a minute (I must have been as white as a ghost), and he started laughing! He was HAPPY!! REALLY HAPPY!!! It was then, that I allowed myself to get happy too. It was sooo not planned, our last 2 pregnancies were achieved using fertility drugs! But we welcomed the idea of a new baby with joy. I then called my Mom and then my sister who were both shocked, but really happy as well. My sister was pregnant and had always wanted for us to be pregnant together.

I had my first OB checkup and learned that my due date was 12-11-10. I thought that was the coolest due date :) We told the girls they were going to be big sisters. We told EVERYONE. We had never had any problems in the past, and we had no reason to suspect that we would. That's when I started spotting. Vic was at Church, and I called him and then called my OB. I put the girls to bed, and just laid there praying, pleading with God for everything to be ok. It wasn't. At my appointment the next day they gave us the news - I had lost the baby. I was so sad - I couldn't understand why God would give us this baby - WITHOUT any use of fertility drugs, only to take him away. It was hard for me.

After I had healed from the miscarriage (physically and mentally), we talked about having a third baby. We decided to leave it up to the Lord for a while, but after a couple of months, nothing had happened. Finally, at Thanksgiving, we decided that we would "try" for another baby. Shortly before Christmas, I had that "feeling" again. I picked up a pregnancy test, but waited until I was alone (at Church actually - doing some work for the preschool) to take it. Almost immediately, it turned positive. I wasn't surprised at all - I just had this feeling that I was! I wrote a cute little poem, and went home and video taped my husband reading the poem. It ended like this, "In fact, we love each other so much, that next Christmas, the number of our children will be 3." He was shocked! No fertility drugs again, AND! The first month trying. We were both a little more hesitant and decided to only tell very close friends and immediate family. (We told my family with a cute little slide show!)

Shortly after Christmas, I had my 6 week ultrasound. The technician doing the ultrasound got very quiet and said to me, "I'm so sorry, I'm not seeing a heartbeat." I immediately started crying. I was by myself (my husband was covering for me at work). I felt so scared, so alone and so sad. I saw my Doctor that day, immediately after my ultrasound and she made me feel a bit better. She explained that I the pregnancy was still viable, but that it appeared that I was earlier in my pregnancy than originally thought. That the date of conception was later and that the heart had not yet fully formed. She told me the date of conception was 12-11-10 (the due date of the baby I had lost. How cool is God?!). She told me to come back in a week for a repeat ultrasound. The next week, there was a strong heartbeat!  The pregnancy went well, no problems, no complications, and NO morning sickness!

Keeland was born by planned c-section on August 23rd, 2011. He was a whopping 9lbs, 7oz. He is the most sweet, funny, giggly baby boy. He fills our hearts with laughter and love every day. I can't imagine our life without him.

We're not 100% sure that our family is complete, but for now, we're content.

Grace's Birth

I guess I'm in a bloggy kind of mood tonight, so I thought I'd take a few minutes and share the birth story of my second daughter, Grace.

When I finally got the go-ahead to get pregnant again after my first pregnancy, we thought we'd have the same result. I started the fertility drug Clomid, and expected to get pregnant right away. We were wrong. We started trying in May, and all summer long, nothing happened. I was really starting to get discouraged.

At the end of September, we traveled to Syracuse for my sisters wedding. I really had this feeling like I was pregnant, but it was too early to test. When we got back (the beginning of October) I called and scheduled my routine blood test. It came back negative. I was crushed - I had really thought I was pregnant! The Dr. prescribed me a medicine to help bring on my next cycle so that I could begin my last round of Clomid. If that didn't work, we'd have to discuss more invasive methods. My husband had a check in his Spirit, and really felt that I shouldn't take this medicine. I thought he was being a little foolish - a home pregnancy test can be wrong, but a blood test is pretty accurate. I listened to him though, and agreed to wait one week before beginning to take the medicine.

Four days later, we were getting ready to go to Church. I had just woken up, and our daughter Amelia was still sleeping. I thought I'd squeeze in a quick workout before she got up. Before that, however, I went to use the bathroom. My husband was just getting ready to get into the shower, and handed me a home pregnancy test. I think I rolled my eyes at him, but I took it anyhow. I didn't even look at it - I knew it would be negative. I left it on the bathroom counter, and went back into the bedroom to use the elliptical.

10 minutes later, Vic came RUNNING into the bedroom shouting, "I think you're pregnant!" My heart skipped a beat - I couldn't be, could I? At first I thought he was messing with me, but I could tell by the look on his face he was serious. I ran (literally) into the bathroom to look at the test with him - sure enough, there was another line! It was faint, but it was there. It was a cheap-o dollar store test though, and we wanted to be sure. I hopped into my car and  drove over, RAN (again, literally) into the store and grabbed the biggest box of First Response tests they carried. $30 later, and 3 more positive tests, and I allowed myself to be really happy.

At my first OB appointment, my dr. looked at me and very sternly said, "The minute your blood pressure goes up, you will be put on strict bedrest, understand?" But she had nothing to worry about. My BP was perfect the entire time (except for the one appointment where I slid on black ice the entire way and I was totally freaked out by the time I got there). On June 11th, I started having contractions (3 days before my scheduled c-section) so I had another emergency c-section. Grace Elizabeth entered the world just before 5pm weighing 9lbs, 10oz.

Grace is my girlie girl - loves dress-up, princesses, ballerinas, weddings, jewelery, shoes, clothes and all that is pink and sparkly. She is sweet and caring, mischevious and silly, smart and funny. I love her to the moon and back, and I am so glad that my husband listened to that little voice in his head that said, WAIT ON ME! I am eternally grateful to God that he satisfied the desires of our heart and gave us a little sister for Amelia.

Next time, I'll share about pregnancy loss, and the birth of our sweet Son Keeland.

Amelia's Birth

One of my friends wives has a fantastic blog - I follow it (thesemountainsaremine.blogspot.com) if you want to check it out. She recently had her first baby and shared her birth story. It inspired me to share mine! If you've already read the blog post entitled, "My Journey This Year" you can skip all these birth stories....I just elaborated on them here :)

As I already shared, the doctors told me it would take many rounds of fertility drugs to get pregnant because I have a condition called PCOS (sorry if this is TMI, but instead of ovulating, the egg forms a cyst). So, in order to ovulate, my OBGYN prescribed me the drug Clomid. My husband and I were both shocked and thrilled to find out I was pregnant after just the first month! I remember sharing with my husbands family at Christmas that we were going to start fertility treatments, and I was so sad. Less than a month later, I was pregnant!

Anyhow, it seemed to be a pretty uneventful pregnancy. I felt pretty good, not really throwing up at all. Around month 5, my blood pressure started slowly creeping up. By month 8 my blood pressure was getting pretty high. I went in for a Non-stress test and some blood work, and was called by my OB later that day with the results. I still remember getting the phone call. I was relaxing on the couch after babysitting and I was feeling pretty run down. My Dr. explained my diagnosis, Pre-eclampsia (high blood pressure, protein in the urine and extreme swelling), and that I needed to be on strict bedrest. He then transferred me over to the nurse who scheduled weekly ultrasounds and non-stress tests for the next 4 weeks. My first one would be the next day. I called my husband in tears, a little scared, but mostly confused. This was my first baby - I didn't really understand what was going on. This was Wednesday. I was 36 weeks pregnant.( I should mention now that on Monday of that week, my husband and I each had the SAME dream - that I went to my check-up and I was 6cm dialated and that I had the baby on Friday! Later that day when my Mom called to check up on me, she jokingly asked when the baby was coming and I told her Friday!)

That night, my husband had youth group. I stayed home to "rest." Except, I didn't really rest. I was craving cake, so I went to the local store, got the ingredients and baked a cake. I was exhausted by the time I was finished, so I left the mess and laid on the couch. My husband was less than thrilled that I had not rested all evening, but I'm not the type to be slowed down. The next day, I picked my husband up from Church, and we drove to my non-stress test and ultrasound at the hospital. The non-stress test did not go well, and they sent me down to ultrasound until they heard back from my OB about what they wanted to do. The ultrasound predicted that Amelia would weigh over 9lbs. And I was sent back up to Labor and Delivery to await my OB's phone call. My OB didn't call back - she came straight over to the hospital. I can't remember the exact question I asked her, but she responded, "You're not leaving this hospital without a baby." I guess there was even the question of transferring me to Albany Medical (a larger hospital with more advanced technology), but it was decided I could stay in Saratoga. They they prepped me for something I would not wish on my worst enemy. If you're weirded out by medical stuff, you should stop reading now. lol :) My OB then inserted a balloon catheter into my cervix to help induce labor. (They really needed to deliver the baby as that is the only cure for preeclampsia). It HURT. SOOOOO BAD. This was at 5pm. They told me to get rest, and in the morning they would start pitocin.

Victor stepped out to call my family and they all got in their cars and started the trip to Saratoga. This was Thursday night. All night, I had a nurse sit by my bedside. This being my first pregnancy, I thought that was normal. I later learned, it was NOT. My blood pressure cuff went off every 15 minutes, and it was her job to mark down my BP. Every time she saw the numbers, she did this breath thing that let me know it was NOT good. Poor Victor tried to get some sleep, but I had nurses in and out all night, and the little chair they gave him was so not comfortable. Neither one of us slept a wink. By 8am the next morning, I was begging for an epidoural. I was only 3cm dialated. They made me wait until afternoon when I was 5cm. However, the epidoural had a "window" and only worked on the right side of my body. I never had full relief :( My 7pm or so, my other OB (intrestingly enough my OB's were a huband/wife team) arrived to asses my condition. He literally did not leave my side for hours. Finally at 11:00pm he checked me again and determined that I was 6cm. I had been 6cm for hours with no progression. My BP was getting dangerously high - 190/160. It was determined then that I needed a c-section. I thought I'd be scared, but I was relieved. 30 minutes later, Amelia Rose was welcomed into the world! She had a heart shaped head from where she was stuck in my pubic bone, and she weighed in at 7lbs, 6oz. Not too shabby for being a month early!

That night and day, my condition worsened (that is normal for preeclampsia) and many of the details are very blury. I remember my family coming in with presents, and I was so weak, I couldn't even lift them to open them. The nursing staff kicked everyone out, including my husband, and I was ordered to drink as much as possible and SLEEP. I wasn't even allowed to keep Amelia in my room, as I lacked the strength to pick her up and they were afraid I'd drop her.

When I was finally discharged 5 days later, my Mom was a saint and stayed with me. She ended up staying almost a week to help me. God bless her, because I was not well enough to be on my own and my husband had to get back to work (he was teaching at our church preschool that year). I had to stay on blood pressure medication for an additional month after, but eventually my blood pressure returned to normal, and thanks to God, it's never been high since. Sorry that was a bit long! Hopefully I'll be able to blog about Grace's birth son :)

The Story of Us

For Valentines Day one year, my husband asked me to put together our love story into a scrapbook so that he would always have it. He is such a sweetie :) I thought I'd share it here too! I guess I'll start at the VERY beginning. My senior year of high school, I met a nice guy a few years older than me. He was a co-worker at the grocery store I worked at as a cashier. He was a great guy (still is, in fact - Married with 2 little girls!), but I just wasn't ready for that kind of relationship. I was young, and immature, and it was my fault COMPLETELY that it didn't work out. After a semester at community college, I transferred to Zion Bible Institute (now called North Point) to pursue my bachelors. My parents and I agreed that I wouldn't date for the first year. I didn't even really pay attention to the guys - just dove head first into my school work. At the end of my first semester, a nice guy named Victor chatted me up in the dinning hall. He asked me out for ice cream, and I politely turned him down telling him that I wasn't dating my freshman year. He was a perfect gentleman and said he understood. He even signed my yearbook that he was, "excited to get to know me better next year." I went home for the summer, and when I returned in the fall, Victor (then a senior) asked me out on a date. I said yes, and I was looking forward to it! Right before our date though, a misinformed upperclassman told me that Victor was, "getting ready to graduate and looking for a wife." I was 19. That freaked me out! So, on our date, I was quick to tell him that I just wanted to be friends. We still had a fun time though - dinner at Applebees and then mini-golfing. I even opened up to him about my life and my love of pranks. Fast forward a couple of weeks, and Victor came down with a terrible stomach bug. He was laid up in bed, and instructed his roomate that he was going to bed, and not to bother him. The phone rang shortly after and the caller said that it was an emergency and they needed to speak to Victor. The caller then told Victor that they were calling from McDonalds and that if he had eaten there, he needed to been seen by a doctor because of a severe food poisoning issue....and then the caller burst out laughing and hung up. Victor assumed the prank caller was me, and was MAD. He didn't really speak to me for the rest of the semester. I just assumed it was because I had said I wanted to be friends and that hurt his feelings. Well, we both got busy with our lives, and didn't really "hang out" again. When he went home to New Jersey for Christmas, he rain into his cousin who told him that it was HIM that pranked him, and forgot to call him back and let him know. Whoops! We still didn't really hang out or talk, and soon Victor graduated and took a job in upstate NY as a youth pastor at a Church. I went back to school to finish 2 more years. I didn't have any other "real" relationships at Zion. There were a couple of guys that I "tested the waters" with (deffinition - hung out with, flirted with, got to know, etc.), only to find that they weren't the right fit. I was pretty content being by myself, and started looking into graduate programs (and even started the applications to go to Princeton Seminary for a masters in counseling). One day, I was trying to rest after class and I had this overwhelming urge to go to the student union and practice piano. It was odd - I was tired, and didn't really want to play, but I felt this tugging for me to go. As I approached the student union building, I saw Victor! He was there visiting with a few of his students from youth group. I was stunned to see him, and he looked pretty happy to see me. We said our hello's and caught up for a few minutes. And,that was it. He left the next day. A couple of weeks later, a friend of mine, Pelig, stopped me before class. He said, "A friend of mine wants your phone number, but I wanted to ask you before I gave it to him. His name is Victor." Of course I knew who it was, and I said yes! Give him my number! Victor and I spent the next 3 months talking on the phone for hours at a time (which greatly annoyed my sister because I didn't have a phone and she did, so I had to use hers and sit outside her dorm room and tie up her phone for HOURS. Thanks for that Steph!!) Anyhow, after months of talking, we decided we were ready to become boyfriend/girlfriend. He drove down to Rhode Island from NY for the day to take me out on a date and make it "official." Then we went to a picnic at our friend Jeremy and Kristy's house. We were long distance the entire time, and it was hard. But, we made it work. That summer, we drove down to NJ for me to meet his parents, and he came to Syracuse to meet my parents. My mother knew him for under an hour, and she pulled me aside and told me she knew he was "the one" - something I already knew in my heart. By October we were engaged, and by the following September, we were married. How here we are, 9 years later and still very much in love. It has been a journey, with ups and downs, highs and lows. But, at the end of the day, I can honestly say our love has grown with each step. I am blessed that God brought him into my life. He's a really good man. He Loves God, loves his family, and each day tries to grow in God and in humility. I'm not trying to brag (Vic would hate that - he is the most humble person I have ever met), but He truly is an amazing man. He is always willing to help, even if it means stopping what he's doing and helping someone else. He is an amazing Dad to our 3 beautiful kids, and the most perfect helpmate God could give me in this journey. I love you Victor! I can't wait to see what the future holds for us :)